This Is What Happens When We Leave The Men Unattended

 

There’s really no difference in them and my boys at home.  THEY HAVE TO BE MONITORED at all times or they’ll bring the house crumbling down around our ears. 

What a truly stupid fucking week.  Truly.

Did you hear?  Oklahoma has taken 5,000 steps backwards in Women’s Rights.  The Taliban called and they’d like their talking points, along with PowerPoint presentation back.  *sarcasm approaches*  Yay.  Us. 

I know what you’re thinking. Summer, what’s it like, living in a state that already has children detention centers and foster homes full to the brim with unwanted kids from the Meth Epidemic, only to hold the promise of yet more unwanted children?   It’s beautiful.  Blessedly cold winters, Dante’s inferno in the summer—our Bibles keep us temperate.  Oh.  You know what we need here to go along with less comprehensive sex education, zero change in methods to control meth, racism, AND a purity rings?  Ridiculous unconstitutional abortion laws.  That’s what we need.   Definitely.  Ridiculous unconstitutional abortion laws  It will go nicely with the rest of the archaic landscape. 

Did I mention that we’re #8 in teen pregnancy?  I’m sure the butchering, back alley abortion personnel are setting up shop as we speak.  Yay, to dead women.  I mean, who cares.  They're just loose women anyway- with no morals, using abortion as a method of birth control anyways.  I guess it will matter to other Oklahoma women more when it’s their daughters bleeding to death in that back alley or being tried for murder. 

Speaking of birth control, then on a larger scale this happened.  Heaven forbid us all the right to block sperm. 

Then to insult our vaginas even further, they did this.  Issa (every time I see his name, I think of the character for Dora the Explorer) didn’t feel the guest speaker contributed any relevance.  Hmm… that’s interesting, because I would think she had more relevance than you to this discussion, because SHE HAS A UTERUS!  

If you have not watched the testimony they would not allow, please go to Moveon.org.

I saw a comment on a feminist website yesterday that resounded with me, “THEY CAN’T OPPOSE ABORTION AND BIRTH CONTROL AT THE SAME TIME!”  She’s right.  They can’t.  Are we supposed to go quietly back to the fucking kitchen? Barefoot?  Pregnant?  Because it’s starting to sound that way.

Then on another front we have Santorum saying that he’s uncomfortable with women on front lines. 

Welllll, I deeeeeeclare!  Excuse me, Mr. Santorum, Aunt Bee called and would like her delicate sensibilities back.  Stop acting like a bitch, Rick, and we’ll stop treating you like one.   #1 you aren’t in the military, leave these decisions to men like Major General Gary Patton, who believes women have proven their abilities to serve in an expending number of roles. Thanksbye.  #2 if it makes your penis feel smaller to be beside such strong, capable women DON’T MARRY one and take your ass back home where you have obviously grown accustomed to talking from your ass with no consequence. If I were your wife, I would have stormed that interview and slapped the ever-lovin’ piss out of you. 

I knew when the Duggars backed Santorum, he would turn out to be a walking freak show brought to us by Little House on The Prairie.  I mean, if that woman wants to use her vagina as a walking clown car, that’s her business, but this bitch here (points at self)—will close up shop anytime she sees fit.  So before you get on my page going all Pro-Life, everyone has a right to their opinions, murderers, blah-blah-blah, let explain to you something. 

I am a feminist. 

A loud, raging, vulgar, educated feminist.  A hater of all things glass ceiling, fighter of all things White Boys’ Club, resister to barefoot-pregnant, head shaker of the morality legislation, a speaker of injustices, and blocker of cramming of your belief systems down my goddamn throat—like it’s the only correct way of thinking.  Like most feminists, I’m no stranger to being thought of as a bitch.  Please go have a seat… over there… with the rest of the motherfuckers waiting for me to give a shit. 

I don’t have a problem with your opinions that differ from mine.  Howevercomma when your opinions legislate against my rights, her rights, and HER RIGHTS, I have a really big problem.  My uterus starts twitching and my vagina starts screaming obscenities.  .

Needless to say, my lady parts are in an uproar this week.