Don’t Even Bother Reading This

I’m irritated this morning so I’m just going to warn you in advance. 

 

1.  What the fuck is going on in China and meat cleaver wielding child killers?  I can’t reference this country as sane decision making peoples anymore.  HOME SCHOOL.  Think it over.   I wish someone would come in to my employment with a meat cleaver.  Seriously, I have copious amounts of pent up rage, over really next to nothing, probably why meat cleaving peoples don’t even bother.  They’re like, “That bitch is crazy!.”

 

Moving on to the less sad and but still disgusting.  Men’s fashion is taking a turn for the worst. 

 

2.  I hate skinny jeans on dudes.  There I said it.  Look at me with disgust like the Teeny Bopper at Express did when she handed my husband a pair to try on.  I said emphatically, “If you so much as take those stupid fucking jeans back to the dressing room, I’ll file for divorce.”  Before pushing my double stroller into the women’s section I then said to her, “Don’t you dare try and fill his  precious head with that GD nonsense. Until he signs a record deal, we’ll shop minus the skinny jeans.” 

Let’s be honest with ourselves, THEY are not flattering on men.  There are two types of male legs:  Chicken legs and really nice muscular legs.  So basically throw them in skinny jeans, and you have either two sticks with (hopefully) a junk sack dangling about, or you have a dude who fucking looks like Beyonce waist down--- but with a junk sack dangling about.  Either way, I don’t want to look at it.  I’ve never seen one single man or boy look comfortable in these awful fashion mistakes.  They sag at the butt then look painted on around the thighs and ankles.  I’m getting pissed just talking about it.  

3.   Men who cannot (or will not) dress independently.  I don’t give a shit if it’s a different color!  If you’re wearing the same thing as five of your friends, it’s too much.  STOP. Why are we still doing this?  By too much, I mean if you and your homeboy/amigos/bros are walking around with the button ups with the swirling patterns down the front, side, or back--- only in different colors and/or different swirling pattern placement--  Yeah, it’s still the same GD shirt.  You look like a boy band.  When I see it, I anticipate..  no make, that I DEMAND song and choreographed dance to take place at some point.   The Tapout clothing?  Same thing.  Although, I do like to see you fellas coming with your matching apparel.  It’s like you’re waiving a giant “I’m a fucking douche bag” sign for everyone to see.  Thanks.  I’m just sorry some women miss the red flag.

4.  Male tanning, too much hair gel, and hair highlights all at the same time?  You need to reevaluate your life.  Everyone’s becoming a cast member of Jersey Shore- it’s self destructive.  We will never evolve as a society if it continues.  

5.  Endless and continuous bitching by women about their boyfriend/husband/baby daddy/ ex who are assholes doing assholish things.  I could write a book about the jackasses that I’ve dated in the past, and even had a child with one such fucktard.  You never hear me talk about him, because I don’t care enough to.  I didn’t waste too much time whining about the situation when I was in it, because whining and yelling and crying doesn’t change ONE. DAMN. THING.  Walking away from the situation or shutting the hell up about it… now that changes everything.  Everyone has control over how they allow others to affect them.  Staying angry and bitching makes you look like an idiot not a martyr.  Always take pride in yourself and see each relationship, no matter how dysfunctional, as a lesson learned.  Then move on emotionally, physically, electronically, etc…  It can be done.  I promise.  Not to say all relationships don’t have ups and downs.  They do, but there’s no need for a public announcement for each argument. 

 

Last but not least, useless items to put on your registry…

6.  Young parents that don’t have one damn clue.  This is the Aquatopia Safety Bath Thermometer Alarm. 

 

 

I’ll quote Mo on this one, “Let me save you $14.99: PUT YOUR DAMN HAND IN THE WATER.”  Parenting has become a joke ,which requires no common sense.  You should wait to have kids if you think bath thermometers, diaper wipe warmers, and all the other bullshit Babies R Us is peddling are key points in parenting.  Do me a favor and register for shit you actually need!

 

I’m stepping down from my soap box of random irritations.  I think sleeping sitting up (per doctor’s orders) is starting to get to me.  I get very grumpy with my full eight. 

Peace out!