A Crazy That I Might Just Get Onboard With

I was watching Hoarders last night.  Another one of my dirty little reality TV gems that I’m ashamed to admit I watch, but I do, and there’s always something so gross, funny, trashy, or just plain WHAT THE FUCK? to talk about. 

Anythisismyblogandyouhavetolistentomeramble, on Hoarders last night  Christina, an advanced stage hoarder, (in my clinical opinion… possibly a 9) just shuffled around piles and piles of 99.9 different kinds of crazy.  Trash, clothes, and other random shit was piled EVERYWHERE.  There was a blender in the bathroom.  I can’t confirm that--- I can only assume.  OH, and she had every disease known to man, and the clutter nearly suffocated her one night because she fell out of bed.  This background information is pertinent.  Not really, I just thought you should know.  

So I’m watching intently thinking “KARAZZZEEE Bitches” when suddenly THE Mayor of Crazytown, Christina’s friend, says that he believes the problem stems from paranormal activity.  Say what? 

You fucking heard me correctly, People.  

He then proceeded to take this insanity further down the rabbit hole with…  “Um, yeah I hypnotized Christina with a technique in a book.  Christina was reluctant at first…”  Well that’s odd, b

ecause when I picture myself being hypnotized, it always involves someone reading the “instructions” throughout the process.  The hell?  The shit can’t be that hard.  Right?

SOOOOOOOO

The Mayor of Crazytown shared (paranormal, hypnotic) knowledge that there was, in fact, a small boy living inside Christina.  I’m assuming a small, dead boy who didn’t like to clean.  The small boy retreated when confronted during hypnosis. 

I’m gonna let that just soak in for a minute.  Let you marinate in that theory.

HE SAID THERE IS A SMALL BOY LIVING INSIDE Christina!  That’s why she’s a hoarder.  Not because she’s depressed, lazy, and loves to shop. And pokes her daughter with a stick because the room is so jam packed full of shit the door can’t be opened to wake her up for school.  NO. There is a small boy living inside Christina that is to blame for it all. 

It just helps you put your own life in perspective.

I will demonstrate Christina’s predicament in MS Paint, as I did receive many compliments on my artwork yesterday.  Feel free to print off, cut, and hang on your fridge to remind you how glorious you have it.

 

I have no intentions on cleaning my kitchen tonight, because I believe there is a small boy living inside me too.