No, I didn't puss out. I was sick. Apparently, taking care of sick kids off and on for two weeks finally wore me down. Now I have a chest cold thing, and I didn't want to cough and hack on potential new friends, even IF they believe Abstinence Only Programs actually work. So I left work early and went to bed.
I'm a little better now. It's amazing how much better a girl can feel after not doing dick, aside from watching weird foreign films on the Sundance channel, for 12 hours straight. Nudity shots were running rampant. Sweet! However, after watching 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days I would like to personally send a box of Remington Lady Shavers to Romania. Dear Romania, Let me put all abortion issues (movie theme) aside, and be honest. Your Congo bushes both intrigue and scare me. I can't get them out of my head. So you owe it to me to bushwack that shit.
See I told you guys I don't fit in. And this is why. I'm a weirdo, with weird thoughts-- but I'm totally fine with it. And so are the people that truly "get" me.
And I also remembered that I am part of two Clubs. My Blogger Friends Club, consisting of a wonderfully diverse and awesome group of people, and My Girlfriends Club, consisting of ladies I went to high school with that are truly awesome. These ladies are hucking filarious and I love them. These are really the only clubs that matter, and I know I don't even have to try to fit in. They're, more or less, the "get in where you fit in" kind of clubs!!!
BTW
If one more ultra, I mean, fucking UTRA-evangelical christian conservative person friend requests me on Facebook, my head will quite possibly explode. It's like I have this magnetic attraction. I'm expecting to open my account one day to see a pending friend request for Glenn Beck. I swear, I get a knot in my stomach everytime I sign in.
Moving on.
I would like to take the time to talk to a few people. Warning: Contents are incredibly graphic. Consider yourself disclaimed!!!
To the judicial system regarding the up to 10 men that gang raped a 15 year old girl, I would like to offer my services. I will (gladly) take one for the team on this one.
I will run on down to Priscilla's and purchase the biggest strap on they have. Then I will repeatedly violate each and every one of these guys while someone else holds them down. Hopefully, they would learn a truly valuable lesson on what it feels like for a penis or foreign object to go where it hasn't been invited! And I don't intend on using a drop of lubricant!!! BTW what in the holy fuck are 19 and 21 year old men doing hanging around a school dance. And to the several passersby that did nothing! Fuck you. You have truly dampened my outlook on humanity!
And while you're at it, someone BRING me Phillip Garrido too. When I'm not ass raping him, I'll keep him in a tent in my backyard. I'll give him one bucket to shit in. And to the judicial system that truly dropped the ball on this one, letting this sexual psychopath prance around free when you knew he was an unreformed (is there any other kind) sexual predator-- hope this sheds a new light on criminal priorities. Given the reform statistics, sex crimes should trump drug dealing every GD time!
Vulgar? Why, yes. Rape is very ugly and very vulgar, and it fucking infuriates me!
To the man who hid the ferret in his pants. What. the. hell. is the matter with you? Who steals a ferret anyway? Ummm.... clearly crazy! Thanks for making me look normal. And to the teen who was bitten in the face by the homeless-man-crotch-ferret- Dude, that really sucks! I'm very sorry that happened to you!
I hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to go facebook you now. hahahahahahaha
I'm waitingto hear someone blame the girl for drinking. Like loads and loads of teens don't try liquor here or there before 21!! Yes, it's dangerous and things could happen and this will hoepfully scare some straight. But. They beat this girl and gang raped her outdoors with witnesses. Fuck her liquor intake! They are creatures from hell and beyond! Outdoors and at a schoolda nce when you know students are alway milling about and you still did this? No heart. No mercy. No trial. Ship them off for life after whipping their asses raw!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat'd be "hopefully" and "school dance" and "always."
ReplyDelete(Can't type very well when I'm angry.)
Chris, I love you! You can always facebook me. You aren't judgy judgy and mean spirited the way the others can sometimes be.
ReplyDeleteAkilah, The whole thing sends me into a tirade. BTW I was surprised when I saw you guys' comments. I was still working on the post and somehow Blogger published it. WTH? Confusing. :)
Wow. Just wow. I am happy you are one of my "girlfriends" and very glad that I don't own or watch tv/internet at the moment. My heart is too fragile to comprehend some of the things you share with us. But I am glad you are out there being "my" watchdog, I wouldn't have anyone else watching my back but you. You, me Priscillas, a huge strap on and some chinese handcuffs action on some scum sucking teenage rapists. I love the smell of napalm in the morning....
ReplyDeleteI happily accept conversative friends on facebook. Then I say offensive and vulgar things. They go away. Don't worry.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason the showtime thru sundace channels are open and free, I just caught the end of the 4 mo, 3 wks and 2days film. The fetus on the floor was creepy. Lots movies with breasts. Ive watched so many movies in the last three days like survival island with Billy Blaine (Is that his name from Titanic?) he is balding. The movie was long and frustrated me with its ending but there was a hot sex scene in the water & in the sand. Just thought Id share. Im enjoying the unpopular movies and the lack of commercials.
ReplyDeleteBy the way Im also a little dissapointed I missed all the Romanian bush scenes. Strange how body hair is so repulsive to me and even sexi to others. Like the foriegn men who love arm hair. hmph. Perhaps Im too harsh
ReplyDeleteThat gang rape makes me so angry. Hubby had to turn the station when he was listening to it because it pissed him off so much. What is wrong with our society???? People were twittering and videoing it??? WTF?
ReplyDeleteYes, these are the people in our high schools and raising our kids.
Brooklyn, I love you. Maybe we can get a buy one get another strap on free or something. haha.
ReplyDeleteKate, Now that would be hilarious.
Filthie Gorgeous, I can't tell you enough how wonderful it is to not be the only person in the world to see that movie. haha. Everyone I ask about it, looks at me like I'm nuts. I'm very sorry you missed the bush scene. Yeah, that fetus haunts my nightmares now. YUK. Welcome to the Circus, BTW.
Jules, It's disgusting.
You're my hero, Summer! Please, allow me to contribute to your strap on fund! I applaud your efforts in that direction! Bastards, one and all!
ReplyDeleteAnd Republicans for Sarah Palin meeting... I would be banned for life from that group if I ever attended! Especially when I brought the Playgirl pictures of Levi Johnston with me just for laughs!
Meanwhile, I had a few conservative classmates from high school friend me on facebook, but I think I scared them off. It's fun just to see how many people I can offend.
The rapists and the people who stood by and recorded, tweeted, watched are vile, disgusting creatures. I do not believe everyone is redeemable -- put these pieces of shit away for life. With a ferret in their pants. Wait, that's mean to the ferret.
ReplyDeleteSorry you were sick. I spent Halloween nursing the makings of a cold..I think I kicked it early. I literally slept all day and night.
ReplyDeleteIt is instances like these where I really wish we implemented the 'eye for an eye' rationality. If you are so low that you can find satisfaction in overpowering and harming a child then you do not even deserve the time and resources it would take to convict and punish you. And if I found out my child had witnessed such an atrocity, they would be begging to go to jail. It would be a far easier punishment than the one I would hand out. Those bystanders deserve to be punished regardless of the limits of the law based on the girls age. I really hope they find a way to circumvent that detail. And every single one of them owes that young lady a very public and embarrassing apology...not that it will even begin to repair what they have done.
Oh my god Oh my god. Clutching side. The ferret thing was hilarious.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I GET you. You GET me. We're weird. And I like it!
Love ya.
CatLady, OMG. Hilarious. I didn't even think about the Playgirl. You're awesome.
ReplyDeleteDingo, The ferret always gets the short end of the stick.
Lynn, It's mind boggling.
Shop Girl, Welcome to the Circus. I think we're going to get along smashingly.