And For My Next Trick...

I'll make a group of people think I'm nuts by cursing out a member of the refined sugar group. Is that a food group? Because I don't recall seeing it in the pyramid. Perhaps it remained in the basement of the pyramid like dirty little secret. Regardless, I told a candy bar to f*** off. Why? The sleazy bitch propositioned me while I was on company errands.



Right there in broad daylight. "I'm not that kind of a girl," I told it.



Bald face lie, I know, but I'm on the wagon again. I have been for a while.



Okay... that's another bald face lie, because I made chocolate chip cookies last week. My intentions were to be on the wagon! So that should count for something? I basically stay on the wagon, and daily meander off occasionally hop off to grab a cookie or two or three.



What happened to P90X? I still do the workouts that's another bald face lie, but staying with Demon Horton's recipes isn't practical when you have three small kids and a husband who eats like a freakin' billy goat. I'm a busy bitch with complicated needs. And frankly, Demon Horton's food sermon is too lengthy for me. Lynn, can I get an AMEN or maybe even an I-told-you-so?



I'm on to this Clean Eating thing recently. Stop referring to me as the FAD DIETER! Stop it!



I refuse to call it a diet, because it's not. It's a lifestyle change. :) I love veggies and fruits. So I'm in. Strangely, it doesn't encourage cheating. Hmphff, imagine that?! So I struggled with that part at first, but it's killing many birds (side note I don't like birds) with one stone. Curbing my veracious sugar addiction, benefiting from eating healthy, and loosing weight. The fam can roll with this. So far, so good.



This is the first "change in my eating habits" that Tim has ever gotten behind.



Usually he's all, stomp-stomp, "I know you're on a diet. Fried chicken sounds good. Salt. Salt. Meat. Meat. More Meat. Where's the Meat? No, I can't eat a WW recipe. I'll melt!"



And due to his genetic code, he picks up a chair and burns like 250,000 calories. Muscle toned even when he's been a lazy ass for two months. Really. It's not fair.



I digress!



He agreed that we ALL need to make this change. We already eat pretty healthy, but we are cutting WAAAY back on the meat and tripling our fruits and veggies. So YAH us.



I have a wedding to go to on Friday night. I hate weddings. HATE them. Seriously, I didn't even want to go to my wedding, but it was on my way to the honeymoon in Cozumel. So I went. Kidding. sort of. Let's all just pray there's a bar because in addition to my revulsion to weddings... this side of the family is a little, correction VERY country. I can't sit through a country music hoe down or watching people in their early twenties do the "white people" grind **don't even pretend that you don't know what dance I'm referring to** without a glass or 4. I live in the Bible Belt, so you never know about the bar. I'm taking a flask with me, just in case. Kidding.


It will be very hard not to take pictures and then blog about it, but it would be in poor taste. Which means... I probably will. I just can't remember which family members know about my blog. Monique won't be there. She'll have just had a baby and shit. Maybe I'll get my mom drunk and talk her into going cow tippin'. lol.