I lightly read the news (I'm weaning my self off) this afternoon, and came up with the following:
The suspected Craigslist Killer is a beautiful person. Really? Who knows, maybe he's innocent. That would really suck if he was innocent. It would take shitty day to an entirely different level. And be highly unlikely. Why is it relatives, neighbors, and friends always say the same damn thing? Just once I'd like to hear these words, "Doesn't fucking surprise me. That guy was weird!" or "Yeah, I always knew he was off."
At our old house, I was convinced that our neighbor killed his wife and disposed of her. He was strange, walked with no footsteps, and I hadn't seen his wife in a month. At night he was making a racket in his backyard. I was afraid to look. A lot of the other neighbors agreed with me, until we saw the wife pulling weeds in her flowerbed one afternoon. And apparently he was building a backyard shed for unknown activities. Turns out he wasn't a serial killer just very weird. I was so prepared for my interview though. So prepared.
Somali pirate's first voyage. Hmmm. Without going too much into this guy's story. The first and only time I ever stole something (candy at the Super H grocery store), I was caught. So I can somewhat relate, not really but I'm trying. However, I do think his punishment will not be worse than mine. Picked up by the most humiliated parents on the planet, or so they claimed. Forced to ride in between said parents the entire way home. Random backhands from Marilyn, while Don said over and over, "You had $40 in your GD purse. WTF is wrong with you!" I have a hard time walking down a candy aisle without remembering the entire fiasco!
For any who cares, the puppy is fabulous. He's the best puppy in the whole world! The kiddos adore him. Elijah had a breakdown of some sort this morning when he learned the puppy would not be attending school with Jonas or him. It was not pretty. But I'm sure everything will be okay once they reunite after work.
"...walked with no footsteps..."Is that a saying 'cos there are lots in the world I have never heard of before? Slang perhaps?
ReplyDeletePlease don't think me dense, but does that mean he hovered a few inches off the ground and floated around like Eve from Wall-E?
You're not dense, I'm just country. :-) The guy would pop up out of nowhere. Silent footsteps. It was creepy! He very well may be able to float. EGAD, he's creepier than ever to me now!
ReplyDeleteI'm convinced my neighbors are serial killers.
ReplyDeleteKate, Why?
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean about the pop up out of nowhere thing. I, too had a creepy ass neighbor like that. I sometimes suspect they're not serial killers, but ALIENS. They're super quiet and the dogs bark like hell at them when they approach. If they wear high necked clothes, I'm convinced it's because they're hiding the scar where the dismembered head was reattached after they got inside...
ReplyDeleteLOL! Oh so glad to be back! Yeah I was watching something on tv yesterday about the Craigslist killer and one of his cronies was like "he wouldn't hurt a fly." Okay..lets think about this. He isn't accused of hurting flies my friends so your half assed attempt at making him sound like a lovable guy next door is pointless. Thank you. Come again.
ReplyDeleteP.S. The new puppy is adorable!!!
I'm sure my neighbors are convinced *I'm* a serial killer, but that's because I routinely threaten my dogs with knives.
ReplyDeleteAlso, is your dog named after the polar bear in "THe Golden Compass?"
DavidBrenner- yes. Aliens.
ReplyDeleteLynn, glad you're back. Yeah his loved ones need to practice saying, "no comment!"
saratogajean, I remember that post about the knives and the dogs. lol. Yes. He is named after the polar bear. He was our favorite character in that movie.